The idea of openly talking about religion and God has become almost taboo in this new world. Society is godless, and believes in the self more than Him. As a young christian in America I know that it can be hard to express faith without being shamed by nonbelievers. It can be hard to stand up for your faith when everyone around you is ignoring God. The only times you hear of Him are in whispers anymore-- silent prayers when something bad happens. The voice of Satan has rose over the last few years, and I have watched my generation listen and diminish itself into nothing but faithless, hopeless, and aimless people. The devil has said to close your ears and hearts to God and to believe in yourself, and do what you want despite the consequences of faith. Many people have listened. God said that Satan is the ruler of this world, (John 14:30). Satan manipulates us in ways some do not even recognize. Satan pushes people to be selfish. The difference between self care and self love and selfishness is this: self-care and self-love are necessary, one must take care of the self. But while taking care of the self, the individual does not promote themselves to be above another individual or God. They remain equal. Satan wishes to push people to believe that they are more important than others, and that they do not need anyone or God, because they can take care of themselves. Satan himself was cast out of heaven for thinking this same philosophy. He believed that he did not need God, and that he had power on his own. This philosophy only landed him in hell.
I grew up in the Catholic church, and had my communion, and baptism and so on. But personally, I would consider myself nondenominational for a number of reasons that seem logical to me. I am comfortable in any church that represents itself as a house of God, and a place of worship. Denominations can get so complicated, because none of us were there to know Jesus or God in the time of the Bible. God did not say that the Catholics, or the Christians, or the Baptists, etc., were more right than any other Christianity based denomination. He said to believe in Him, and have faith in Him, and by doing those things you will find salvation. No matter what denomination you are I believe that if you believe in Him and you follow the basics of what He said to us, you will too be saved. Because of the time that we live in and the way religion is portrayed today it is hard at times to know what is truly right and what is wrong. When I was about fifteen and I realized that it was okay to not choose a denomination and to simply be a believer, I set some guidelines for myself. I told myself that while I would take into consideration all religious ideas I would also allow myself to build a personal connection with God in order to understand Him and who I needed to be as a believer. I told myself that I would believe in the God that I read about, but I would have faith in the God who revealed himself to me, and that I felt in my life. I would believe in the things he did around me, and the Spirit that I saw him actively being. Now to some who lack faith, this seems unconventional and hard to understand. But I prayed to God and I asked him to be active in my life, and to reveal himself to me any chance that He could. I asked him to give me signs, and allow me to have true understanding of who He was and what He could do. Religion is all about faith and He knew I believed and had faith and asking to see him was not for confirmation, but was to feel Him actively around me. I have talked to Him about this faithless world, and I have asked him to allow me to continue to see His work despite the rest of the blind world. I prayed to Him and told Him that if He needed me that He could act through me and that I would be a messenger for Him. As I said before, to nonbelievers this seems irrational, but to someone with faith who has seen God's work and felt His presence it is nothing less than real.
I remember the first time I truly felt God's spirit upon me, and I heard his voice. Every time I have heard Him I have a moment where I question my own sanity. You know the voice in your head, it is your voice, and the only time you hear your subconscious. With that being said, if you are hearing voices that are not your own, and you recognize they are not your own, either you are actually going insane, or in my case you are hearing the voice of God for the first time. Now if I was not in the middle of a fifteen year old life crisis, and had not been in the middle of prayer, I may have questioned my sanity a bit more, but I knew instantly from the serene feeling of peace that it was Holy. I went through a terrible time my sophomore year of high school, where I was bullied by many different people who were saying horrible, evil things. There was a point where people were actually telling me that I should kill myself, and their rumors and sharp words hurt me very deeply. I have never been one to want to hurt myself, or think negatively about myself, or wanting to live, but there was a day where it got extremely overwhelming and for a while I contemplated if I could do that to myself. I knew I could never kill myself, but the heavy feeling on my heart of self pity and depression put me in a very dark place and I felt extremely alone. I remember locking myself in my room and crying in my bed for seven hours straight, not even coming close to running out of tears. I turned to God. I told him everything that was going on and I told him about the sadness that had overcome me. I was crying so hard that half of my several hour long prayer was aloud and the other half was said in my head. I begged God to help me. He knew my heart and He knew that I had good intentions with my life, and that I never wanted those dark feelings, or the thoughts of suicide. God heard me, and how scared I was. I was afraid of the sadness that I sensed in myself, because for the first time suicide made sense to me. I no longer could ever question how someone could feel so low to where they would hurt themselves because I felt that. I told God that I needed His help.. no one else could help me. God understood the evils of this world, and He knows the darkness in people's hearts. Humans persecuted His son Jesus, they said and did horrible things to him. God knows the darkness all too well, and I told Him I knew that only He could save me. I remember I was crying, sobbing, snot coming out of my nose, painfully in tears. I was begging God to please help me. I remember feeling so much pain, and all I could ask was for him to help me know what to do because I was afraid and alone and I did not want to hurt myself but I was having bad thoughts. Then it hit me. This voice in my head that was not mine, words flowing through my mind that were not my thoughts. I was still asking for help, when I was hit with an overwhelming peace. A peace that stopped my tears instantly and told me that there was no reason to cry. This voice told me that I would be okay and that everything was going to be okay. I cannot explain in human words the feeling that overcame my being, but that's because it was not human it was Godly. In seven hours of crying it all stopped in an instant because of the voice of God who told me that I was okay, and that He had me and that all I needed to know was that I needed to stop crying and be strong and that I was okay. I was empowered by the peace that God had washed over me. I have never doubted myself since then any time I have felt that I was hearing the voice of God, and each time I am validated that my sanity is intact and that my faith is strong and true.
Last week I went to I-Hop for lunch in between school and work. I am pregnant and going through major life changes and spent my entire lunch going over my finances to ensure I could pay my bills due this month, and get a few extra things I needed. I was stressing majorly because I just started a new job, and I have a lot going on. I was thinking to myself, "I know that we will figure it all out, God always helps me know what to do, and how to have it all together.. but man do I have a lot going on," and I would recalculate my money trying to come up with different savings plans, etc. It wasn't very busy in the restaurant and I was at a booth alone, facing the door. A man and a woman came in after me and were sat catty corner to my booth, but every time I would look up the man was staring directly at me. I did not want to seem rude like I was staring back so I tried to keep my head down as much as I could. We were sitting close and the restaurant was quiet so I could hear the man talking and I got the impression that perhaps something was wrong with him that we couldn't see, but that he was mentally handicapped or impaired in some way. I then felt even worse to look up because I did not want to offend him by making him think I was staring-- despite that he was staring at me. I battled myself to focus on my food and read articles on my phone. I had the urge to look up and I did and he was smiling so I smiled back but looked down again, breaking eye contact that I was afraid to hold for long. My waitress brought me my ticket soon and it is routine of me to grab my ticket instantly and review it and pull out my card. I am usually anxious once I receive my receipt and hurry to leave, but I told myself that I would enjoy my meal and relax before work. About ten minutes later I reached to review my ticket and it was the man and woman's ticket and not mine. Upon realizing this I got the incredible urge to pay for these people's meal. It was an overwhelming voice in my head telling me that I needed to pay for this for them. I told God in my head, "Okay God, I have this overwhelming feeling to do this for these people. I just spent my entire lunch reviewing my finances, and I really don't know if I can afford to even be eating out myself, but if this is what you want me to do, tell me and I will do it. If you're really asking me to do this, I will do it." I sat and I waited and the feeling only got stronger. I flagged down my waitress and I told her about the mishap of the tickets and when she went to take theirs I told her to leave it and that I would pay for it as well. She looked at me like I was crazy, and asked me why, and I almost choked up trying to tell her that I cannot explain why, but that I had an overwhelming feeling that I was being called to pay for their meal. She was surprised but agreed that I could do it, and left me with their ticket. I paid and I wasn't going to approach them but I felt as if I needed to as well, so before I walked out the doors I turned around and walked to their booth. "Hi, I just wanted to let you guys know that I paid for your meal today, so you don't have to worry about the ticket. Stay blessed." The woman's mouth opened and she didn't look like she knew what to say, and the man smiled and said "Thank you!" repetitively until the woman also said thank you. I walked out to my car and I had this overwhelming feeling of God that made me want to cry-- but out of goodness, not sadness. I took a breather in my car and sat in the parking lot for about ten minutes waiting so I didn't get to work too early, and I was a little insecure by the woman's reaction. She was surprised but I didn't sense that she was grateful, despite that the man was. I told God, "God I am not doubting you, and I do not regret paying for their meal, but I still don't understand why you wanted me to do that. I know you wanted me to, and I know I am not crazy, but I don't quite understand the purpose. I just spent my day worrying about money and I did not even sense that the woman was grateful for that act you just showed her through me." God made me bite my tongue as he validated His purpose. The people walk out of the restaurant and to their car. Every car in the parking lot is new, at least a 2013 and up. Their car is the only one in the parking lot that looked like it may not even start. It was an 80's model that was falling apart, with windows busted out and plastic wrap in place of glass. Duct tape was what was holding that vehicle together. From their appearance you wouldn't have known, but they obviously had less than I did as I sat in my brand new car with all five windows in tact. Not only did God act through me and validate himself but He also reminded me that my problems are well taken care of compared to others. I sat in my car and I cried at the overwhelming power I felt through the act of God that He allowed me to be apart of that day.
Ask God to reveal himself to you. Open yourself as a messenger of Him. He will use your being for good and holy things.
Matthew 7:7-8 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened"
